Possession #172 - New Bag

I feel obligated to update my bag post by adding this new Crumpler camera bag. We're planning a trip to Ireland and I needed the travel bag that will get me through that adventure with my camera. The perfect bag needs to be big enough to carry all your stuff, but without a lot of excess space and weight. In other words it has to pass the Goldilocks test...it has to be "just right."

This reminds me of a guide we once used on a wilderness canoe trip. While the rest of us on the trip carried quite a bit of expensive "outdoors" gear, our guide used the most basic and simple supplies imaginable. His water bottle was an old milk jug. He forgot his spoon, so he carved one out of a stick on the first night. He brought what was necessary, but not much else.

At what point did we move past "necessary" and enter the "excess" zone?

Possession #171 - Cassette Tapes

In high school I stayed up til midnight one night to make a cassette of the Barry Manilow double live album that a radio station was playing. Yes, I know, you can't believe I said the words "cassette" and "Barry Manilow" in the same sentence...but I just want to lay it all out for you upfront. The point is, itunes used to be known as CD's and they used to be known as Albums and they used to be recorded on cassettes. Cassettes made it very easy for someone like me to become my own DJ and make a mix tape or even record my own low-budget dramas. With dual players it was even easy to make copies until one of the tapes got eaten by the machine. Most of my cassettes are long gone, but a few are around, not because I have a player anywhere in the house, but because...ummm...isn't there a law against throwing away Barry Manilow tapes?

Possession #170 - Mountain Dulcimer

One of our instruments here in the "house of music" is a mountain dulcimer which we tend to use for Celtic music rather than the more traditional Appalachian stuff. A dulcimer is one of those wonderful instruments that's rather easy to begin on but you can make it as fancy as you want. You might want to check out a nice Celtic tune played on one in this Youtube video. We have this possession according to the "you can't have too many instruments" clause in our contract.

Oh...you might notice in the picture a strange extra piece of wood that lies about a 1/4 inch below the surface of the dulcimer. That's a possum board (also goes by a variety of other names). It helps project the sound when you're playing it on your lap. Thanks Steve!

Possession #169 - Cell Phone

It seems unbelievable that an object so central to life as we know it has been relegated to "possession #169." I suppose, to be honest, it was sort of included in an earlier post where I counted up all the clocks in my house. But it really deserves its own spot. The term "early adopter" refers to people who always have to be the first ones to try out some new technology. And while I am definitely not that person, I am a "somewhat early adopter." I like to see what all the commotion is about fairly soon. Therefore I love my smart phone but not so much that it's under my pillow every night. I enjoy a lot of the things it can do for me but not enough to remember to take it out of my pocket the first time I went down a water ride.

During the course of this project our home has become, like so many others, land-line-less. We dropped the land line and now exist solely on cell phones...and I think I can say we haven't regretted it once. I only wonder what strange things will pop into our lives by the time I'm old and cranky...ok...older and crankier. I say, "bring it on!"

Possession #168 - Razor

My first razor was a Norelco triple header electric. Then I went to blades, then back to electric, then back to blades. I don't think I ever had a single blade razor like my dad's. I started with a double-bladed razor. Then two blades and a gel strip. Now...the Mach 3 (despite the name, I find that it takes the same amount of time to shave)! Over the years, I don't want to think of the pile of blades that I've dulled and tossed. It certainly seems to make sense to go with a beard, but I'm stuck with this convention of my culture. At least I was going to leave you with a video of the classic razor blade swallowing magic trick, but instead, for no particular reason, I'll point you to a less bloody and far more phenomenal performance.

Possession #167 - Poop bags

Everyone poops...if you're not so sure about that, there's a book about it which was given to me in the hospital after my intestinal surgery. It's called, "Everyone Poops" and it comes highly recommended.

When our dog poops, it requires special attention...thus the poop removal system, for us, involving re-purposed bread bags. If you need some inspiration for this public service, then watch this video (at your own risk).

Possession #166 - Tent

For some, camping means a cabin with indoor plumbing and hot tub on the back deck. For others it involves a fairly large house with wheels and a motor that travels across country getting about 2 mpg. For still others, I suppose it requires being miles from any road or grocery store. For our family it involves a tent in any campground that has two things: flush toilets and a pool. Our first tent was a giant 3-room behemoth that took about 8 1/2 hours to set up and involved several thousand poles and pegs. Later, we got smart and bought a simple square tent with only two poles and took about 5 minutes to set up in the dark during a rain storm. Actually, it was decimated not on a camping trip, but during an imaginary camping expedition one year at Vacation Bible School.

Camping brings back good memories of sitting in the tent reading stories to our kids before trying to sleep in a strange place. Then waking up to elk chewing on the bushes next to the tent. It reminds me of failed fishing expeditions and encountering strange creatures on the way to the bathrooms in the middle of the night. Camping is supposed to be a bit uncomfortable and disorienting...otherwise it's not an adventure.

Possession #165 - Coat Hangers

I don't consider our family excessively clothed. Our two children are out of the home most of the year and we don't have either a large home or a walk-in closet in which to expand our wardrobe. And yet...a casual count of the coat hangers in my house adds up to 267. Most of them are being used.

Some historians credit Thomas Jefferson with inventing a precursor of the modern coat hanger. The standard wire coat hanger was probably invented some time around 1869. My question?...what did people do before hangers?...They must have had a lot more chairs in the house!

Coat hangers are notorious for a broad range of purposes other than an object on which to hang coats, shirts and such. You can break into your car with one. You can make an antenna for your TV. They have been used dramatically. Make an ipad stand. I've used coat hangers for more projects than I can count...primarily in the construction and manipulation of puppets.

In Iowa they're prone to use bailing wire. But I still like a good ol' coat hanger for most repairs and quick constructions.

Possession #164 - Backpack

Like a suburban pickup truck, this backpack serves more of a symbolic significance than a practical one. It did serve me faithfully through a couple of wilderness canoe trips. But other than those, I've only fantasized about hiking the Appalachian trail or other such treks. I like the idea of surviving on only what I can carry on my back. But in reality, I like my hot shower, my comfortable bed and my gas fireplace. We know the burden of the excesses we accrue, but we have a hard time letting go of them and like the disciples that Jesus once sent out...only taking the clothes on our backs. I keep the backpack in the garage and it's getting a nice aged look to it. But I'd like to fill it up and go somewhere...

Possession #163 - File cabinets

When I was in grad school I had the perfect desk made out of file cabinets with a door laid on top of them. I don't have the door any more, but I still have need of file cabinets. They contain all the records of our life: taxes, house and car payments, bills, warranties, directions for replacing the filter on our vacuum cleaner, birth certificates, addresses, and on and on. Who would think that our lives, quite apart from the businesses where we work, would need so many records? Families could do with a good administrative assistant on staff. Unfortunately, it's just us. At least we have enough space for all the paperwork.

Possession #162 - Coffee Maker

In many homes, this object is elevated to near-shrine status. Perhaps while reading this post you might want to listen to "Java Jive" by the world's greatest musical group. The thing is, I can't really consume caffeine, so this is really used mostly by other members of the family. And when I brew up my de-caf, some would say I'm committing sacrilege. Who would think that an entire culture could grow up around the consuming of this product...I guess it's better than a lot of alternatives. Looking back at world history, we see that a lot of cultures had ritual gatherings centered around the consuming of drugs...I guess we're no different.

Possession #161 - Pooper Scooper

You know that something is off balance in your world when you own a device for scooping up your dog's poop. The infallible font of knowledge that is Wikipedia says that the pooper scooper was invented by Brooke Miller, of Anaheim, California. I don't know what caused Brooke to have the particular moment of enlightenment that led to this invention...but I suspect it involved alcohol. The device has been such a fixture of our society that it's been included in the dictionary since the early 1970's. Despite this handy device, my poop still lies unscooped until they invent a robot to do the actual scooping.

Possession #160 - Junk

Everybody has junk in their house somewhere...some more than others. Junk is stuff that has reached the end of usefulness in the home but hasn't yet moved on to another realm. It's in a sort of stuff-purgatory. Broken coffee makers and vacuum cleaners, rusted tools, worn out brief cases...these things make their way to a half-way station between a prominent location in the home and the junk yard. For some it's harder to part with these old things than others. Some have no problem pitching, tossing and letting go of. Others of us have to let our old stuff age a bit before it gets the boot. We grow attached to things that have been around a long time...and sometimes it's hard to let go.

Possession #159 - Leaf blower

As long as I'm posting my weed whacker, I might as well do the same for my leaf blower. Of all the lawn care products I'm most ashamed of, it is, perhaps, the leaf blower. I imagine a conversation with someone unfamiliar with such a device:

What's that?

A leaf blower.

What does it do?

It...ummm...blows leaves around.

Is it considered a form of recreation?

To the neighbors, yes.

If only we could modify trees to drop their leaves all in a pile and grass to grow only to a certain height, it would spare us all this straitening up of nature. Why does the natural world look more like my son's room in the middle of the summer than my neatly folded shirt drawer? Could it be that messy is the intended order of the world? Why all this tidying up then?

Possession #158 - Weed Whacker

There no chore that doesn't offer an opportunity to find a new tool to accomplish it. This couldn't be truer than in the realm of yard work. I have a lawn mower, leaf blower, snow blower, hedge trimmer,wheel barrow, shovels, rakes, trowels, brooms, a weed whacker (certainly, the best-named tool of the bunch), and of course a garage to put them all in...along with a car if it fits.

I wonder if all these time saving devices actually save time or do they just end up complicating things. They seem to produce an endless supply of problems...parts that need replacing...things that need unclogged, cleaned out or tuned up. It isn't exactly like watching grass grow...but it's close.

Possession #157 - Sewing Machine

This is the sewing machine I bought about 30 years ago in order to make my own costumes and sets for birthday party performances. I got very good at sewing anything that didn't really need to fit - such as clown pants which look all the better the worse they look. This machine has certainly hemmed a good many puppet theater curtains and a few tiny costume...though, not without a few silent expletives. How people make actual clothing that fits on a specific sized person is a mystery I will never understand...and for most of us is a lost skill from our grandmothers and great grandmothers. There probably ought to be a law that everyone has to make a certain percentage of the clothing they wear...it might keep all of us a bit more humble...and save our economy.

Possession #156 - Toilet Paper

Of course it was the Chinese way back in the 6th century or something who first started using something like toilet paper. It only took us Europeans another 1000 years or so to come with something so brilliant. I think of myself as something of a toilet paper snob. It can't be plain ol' Charmin. Not extra strong Charmin. But, the Charmin Ultra for me. As a long-time sufferer of gastro-intestinal distress, I consider a proper roll of toilet paper more essential than toothpaste, hair gel and even coffee.

Proper functioning personal plumbing is essential to health and well-being...and toilet paper is a part of that entire equation. Well...that's just about enough of that, don't you think? I...uhhh... gotta go...

Possession #155 - Refrigerator Door

Not the entire refrigerator...just the door. I wonder sometimes how our ancestors communicated with each other without a refrigerator door on which to affix notes. Our door, I choose to think rather typically, is fairly eclectic - some phone numbers, schedules, pictures of family members, a cartoon. All affixed with a detritus of of magnets gleaned from college visits, junk mail, vacations and inherited from generations before. In many ways, the door is one of the most deeply personal corners of the house. It's not intended to appear any certain way for the benefit of guests. It's the open-air equivalent of the junk door...and it's precisely these kinds of things that say who we are much more than the coffee table which we got because it matches the couch which, in turn, resembles the light switch covers. These things say who we are. I'm always nervous when I go to a house with a refrigerator door that looks too clean.

Possession #154 - Spinning Top

This is another spinning top from my collection. This one, from the king of toy shops - FAO Schwartz. Founded in 1862, it's the oldest toy store in America. My only sadness in all this is the FAO Schwartz is now owned by the Toys R Us corporation... I'm wondering why it is that I like to purchase something which I consider handmade form a family-owned company than something that came off an assembly line from a big corporation? I suppose, most of the time, we're fooling ourselves when we think we're getting something tied more closely to the people who made it. Something like 90% of the things which we own traveled in a shipping container on a big boat across the ocean somewhere. I'm not quite sure this is the sign of a civilized world.

Possession #153 - Suit Coats

My first suit was a JC Penny light brown corduroy 3-piece suit that I wore to high school dances. When I got my first job in a church, my parents bought me a blue suit coat to go along with my blue pants, blue tie and even blue shoes (suede). I still own a couple of suits, but only wear a black one when I go to funerals. The rest of the time a tie is about as formal as it gets.

We live in an interesting time in regards to clothing. For some, more formal outfits are a sign of respect. For others, it's way that people show off. Do you dress more informally in order to be a "man of the people" but then make some think you're being disrespectful. Or do you dress "respectfully" and make others think you're trying to be hot stuff! If only I had my JC Penny suit, I think I could manage both at the same time...

Possession #152 - Stetson Hat

This is my genuine Stetson hat from the Stetson hat factory in St. Joseph, Missouri...courtesy of the good Presbyterians in that city. Although, like all good things, the factory has closed down and consolidated with bigger and bigger corporations so that Stetsons are now made...who knows where! I never much liked hats when I was younger since it frequently caused the dreaded "hat hair!" But now such concerns don't bother me and I welcome a little extra cover on my dome. My Stetson doesn't get as much use as my ball cap, but it's certainly more durable and classy.

Someone recently remarked how strange it is that most everyone seemed to have worn hats years ago and now they've mostly disappeared. I suppose it's a result of the casualization of the country in the '60's. Although I'm not a big fan of cowboy hats worn indoors...they still cut a good figure.

Possession #151 - Wall Hanging

Anybody remember decoupage? I learned how to do it in Junior High and then made this lovely wall hanging for my grandmother. I cut the wood with a scroll saw and decoupaged an old piece of sheet music to it. When she passed away I re-inherited it and now it hangs in our laundry room adding a bit of "class" to it. About that time in my life I also learned to macrame and make string sculptures...but I don't have any remnants of those hobbies. My mom still has a few other samples of childhood hobbies - the kinds of things that only a mother could love. I suppose I'll re-inherit them some day too.

Possession #150 - Fire Extinguishers

Why should you own a fire extinguisher? Because you might purchase a new toaster oven that heats up quicker than your last toaster oven so that you set some toast on fire that threatens to burn down the house except that you have a fire extinguisher. It's amazing how adrenaline sometimes makes you move quicker but also slows down the brain cells - I'm glad these devices are easy to use! Want to know how they make them? Watch this nifty video...

Possession #149 - Clerical Robe

In my first church I wore a robe most every week. In my second church I wore it about half the time. A few years ago, I used to wear a robe only on Christmas eve. Now, mostly for weddings and Halloween. Someone once said that one of the most lasting effects of the '60's is the casualization of America...and for the most part, I'm glad. I have no desire to wear coat and tie to work every day like my father did. I love preaching in shirtsleeves. There are moments, however...like at some funerals I attend these days, at which I hanker for a more formally attired decade. But mostly...bring on the khakis and golf shirts...I'm all for it!

More than a robe, I miss the stole. It's not only more decorative and colorful than a robe, but I like its meaning - it symbolizes service to others. This stole was given to me by my wife when I was ordained. It's the one I wear when I really want to impress!

Now all of this professional clothes gather dust in my closet. What would Calvin say?

Possession #148 - Dog Crate

This is how you accumulate a lot of stuff: We bought a crate for our dog. It was too big. We bought another one. It was too small. Now we have three - one upstairs, one downstairs and one in the garage. We only have one dog. The dog has more beds than I do.

Last year us Americans supposedly spent $51 million on pets.

I'm going to crawl into my crate and go to bed.

Possession #147- Fly Swatter

Among my possessions is a device for killing flies. I'm among those who are so very thankful that I live in an age of indoor plumbing, window screens and air conditioning. These modern conveniences which I take for granted, give me a sense of daily comfort that for most of human history were unknown. And yet...at times...I wonder if these things have so separated me from creation that I tend to see the world as I have molded it rather than the way it is. I'm quite certain that my disconnect with creation contributes to my callousness towards all things natural. I find it important for my own well being to try and find a bit of untamed nature from time to time so that I can remember the natural flow of things. And so, I guess, I'm thankful even for buzzing flies ...sometimes...when they're not dive-bombing me at the dinner table...SPLATTT!

Possession #146 - Sermons

In Marilynne Robinson's wonderful novel "Gilead," the retired pastor, John Ames, looks at a box of old sermons and calculates for his son how many sermons he must have preached over the years. Ames figures he's preached some two hundred and fifty sermons and at some thirty pages a sermon he calculates, "Then I've written two hundred and twenty-five books, which puts me up there with Augustine and Calvin for quantity." I look in my file drawer of sermons and wonder if there's even one novel worth of good words in there. It's certainly a bounty of words.

My sermon writing has gone through a lot of transitions through the years - smaller font to a font big enough for old eyes to see. Manuscript to outline to manuscript. From portrait to landscape. From longer to shorter...but never all that long...long sermons were never much of a temptation for me.

I think I probably only ever preach about 6 different sermons - coming up with endless variations on those themes that seem to occur over and over no matter how creative and bold I think I'm being. But for the most part I love this part of my work. I find great joy and challenge in constructing a verbal piece of art every week, hoping that at least some of the time it's worth a look.

Possession #145 - Dummy

When I started performing children's shows full time, I needed something else in my act. I decided it would be ventriloquism despite the fact that I didn't really know how it worked. Every ventriloquist needs a dummy, and Willy was the one I chose from renowned puppet maker, Clinton Detweiler. Here's a nice video of Terry Fator (Los Vegas ventriloquist who won "America's Got Talent")giving a tribute to Detweiler not long ago. Ventriloquism is a wonderful thing to learn if you like talking to yourself a lot. In fact, people will even pay you for it!

Possession #144 - Stuff I picked up off the ground

OK...is this stuff my stuff? It's just sticks, leaves, seeds and rocks. Rocks were one of the things I had a collection of as a child. In fact, my parents bought me a Junior Geologist kit complete with a rock pick (capable of penetrating silly putty) and hydrochloric acid (.000001%). Later on I started collecting all sorts of stuff I picked up off the ground just because it appealed to me. I keep some of it on a shelf in my office. When I can't find the time in my day for a walk in the woods, I look at my little shelf and remember that there's more beautiful stuff out there that I didn't make than I'll ever attempt to create in my own way. Oh, and the rock is a geode...a good Iowa rock!

Possession # 143 - Spinning Tops

Part of my collection of spinning tops. I subscribe to the late Erma Bombeck's maxim that "two or more of anything constitutes a collection." Once you start a collection, it just seems to grow on its own - you pick up more here and there...others contribute to the pile...it goes on and on...or 'round and 'round, so it seems. I love the variety of tops. Some of them make interesting patterns, some flip upside down, some bounce with springs. I have one of those metal gyroscope toys that I had as a kid. I have a "magic" one that never stops spinning. If you want to watch 8 minutes of spinning top tricks, look here. I gotta go.

Possession #142 - Spoon

OK...maybe a spoon is stretching things a bit. But this isn't just any ol' spoon. It was hand made by Frank Wright, a spoon craftsman. His shop is located in one of my favorite spots in the world - Lanesboro, Minnesota. His shop has none of the trappings of commercial success. It's cluttery and brimming with sawdust. All he does is make the most gorgeous spoons you've ever seen. Each one even has a name - something that the shape evokes in the eyes of the maker. This one doesn't toss my salads. It sits on a shelf in my office among other treasures. If a person can devote their life to making beautiful spoons, then maybe I can do something worthwhile and even...at times...of beauty.

Possession #141 - Panasonic Ball Radio

Having just come back from a High School reunion in which I wondered who all the old people were, I thought it appropriate to post a picture of one of the relics I still have from those days. This is my "oh so cool" Panasonic Ball Radio on which I listened to my ventures into the world of adult music. It's on this radio that I found KAAY Little Rock which broadcast "Beaker Street" late at night and which I listened to as if it were some strange exotic animal. Music was for me at times a little window into a wider world which I only saw glimpses of and which seemed both dangerous and exciting. Now, in an age of omnipresent music from multiple sources, my little ball radio is a little anchor to another exotic world of the past.

Possession #140 - Workmate 200

You gotta love the name - The Workmate 200. Even the name bristles with manly overtones. It wouldn't do to call it something like "collapsable table" or "adjustable thingamajiggy" (that's what I usually say). And it's not just the Workmate...it's the Workmate 200, clearly letting it be known that it's bigger and better than the Workmate 100, or heaven help us, the mere Workmate 2 1/2. It's clear that when using this thing you're doing something useful and important. And it wouldn't do to have a Workmate 200 in your garage if it looked like it just came out of the box. It has to look like it's been run over by a road grater and dropped from a fork lift. As it happens, my Workmate 200 is just about as handy and useful as the name implies. It's about 20 years old and so has a proper patina on it, although I wouldn't want to reveal all it's many uses over the years. They might take back the name.

Possession #139 - Desk

I'm not quite sure what to call this possession. It's the only thing I ever purchased at an auction. A nearby benedictine monastery was closing one of its buildings which they used to run as a school and I purchased one of the old desks. I got it because I spent a year in the building while participating in a program on spiritual direction. The monastery was home to a nursing facility for retired nuns and so we would worship every morning with about 50 nuns between the age of 100 - 150. It was a wonderful experience and when I had a chance to have a piece of furniture to remind me of it, I took it. Now the desk is the place where I keep a number of things which might be called "sacred" objects: A singing bowl that Jean bought for me at an international store. A fish tile that I bought at a super cool pottery store. Some prayer beads. A couple rocks from a stream at a retreat place I went to. A picture of a sculpture I like. I suppose the desk now serves as a little oasis in my office. A little reminder of things that are important to me. Others might call it a shrine or a cluttery mess. I like it.

Possession #138 - Master's Diploma

There's something a bit disturbing about being declared a "master" of anything and especially "divinity." I'm not quite sure which course it was that rendered me worthy of this educational title. Was it the course on preaching or pastoral care? Sometimes I think the seminary potluck suppers were the things that best prepared me for parish pastoring. There are plenty of studies that reveal how pastors often lag far behind their own parishioners in prayer and other spiritual disciplines. The Spiritual depth needed to lead a worshiping community is something that is simply far too complex to teach in the way that one can teach Biblical exegesis or theological argument. And yet these other things are not inconsequential to spiritual matters. Preparing a person to make the leap from knowledge to practice is the nut that schools have long wished to crack. And maybe the nuts aren't that bad anyway.

The book of Proverbs says that "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." I don't quite understand that...and maybe that's the point. Wisdom is something that you never quite grasp. It's always just beyond your outstretched arms.

Possession #137 - Lincoln's 2nd Inaugural

Abraham Lincoln delivered his 2nd inaugural address on March 4, 1865. He had to negotiate a difficult rhetorical path between many different quarreling groups within our country and even within his own political party. I keep a copy of this address on the wall of my office to inspire me to keep the peace when I'm tempted to gloat at my victories or growl in my defeats. Pictured here is the most memorable line, "...With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right..." Lincoln shows compassion and humility but is unafraid to call it like he sees it. I hope sometimes I get close to that.

Possession #136 - Puppet

So, I can't include the last puppet without having this one in here today. This is the heroine that goes along with yesterday's villain. Again, it's a modified rod puppet with moving head. The heads of both puppets were molded out of clay and then plastered with several layers of plain ol' paper mache using tissue paper. After allowing the whole thing to dry, I cut the head in half, scooped out the clay and paper mached the two halves back together after installing the equipment for the moving head which involved lots of wire and hot glue and the top of a plastic pop bottle.

My dad used to build model rail road layouts. My grandfather built grandfather clocks (hmmm appropriate). I find the long process of designing and creating a great way to focus the mind in almost a meditative manner. The physical challenge of such projects keeps my mind alert and able to ward off distractions...such as the plate of chocolate chip cookies that are calling me now. Gotta go.

Possession #135 - Puppet

Yes, another puppet. This one was the bad guy in one of my shows. He's a special rod style puppet that I designed myself. With my thumb I can manipulate his head side to side and make it nod up and down. He's an evil wizard who controls the television airwaves and so he rides around on a magic stick....isn't storytelling fun!?

You might like watching this little documentary about Indonesian rod puppets. They are used in that country to tell traditional folk stories. What story do you want to tell?

Possession #134 - Kitchen Radio

Doesn't everyone have a radio or television in the kitchen. It's rare for me to do much of anything in the kitchen without playing something in the background. In fact, right now as I post this at the kitchen table, JT is offering smooth background tunes ("you've got a friend").

It makes me think how few times I do something in silence. When some other noise doesn't invade my space, I usually create my own, be it via CD, Radio, Ipad, etc... Yet, silence is the thing that's most likely to get the brain juices going. Noise, deadens the synapses. Distraction is the enemy of peace. Silence is the friend of contemplation. Nuff said.

Possession #133 - Mr. Methuselah

Mr. Methuselah is a puppet designed for ventriloquism, but I've used it as a regular puppet. For the last couple of years he helped to host 600 Presbyterians at Synod School by being surly and an all round curmudgeonly old guy...a lot like the guy attached to the puppet. Originally I introduced him as the 6000 year old man which made him just a bit older than the 2000 year old man played classically by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner...an album which I used to have memorized! We're all getting older...so we can't help but relate! Here's to history!

Possession #132 - Another Bike

OK...so let me explain...yes, my third bike. Of course, the first one is over 25 years old. This one, about 15. I purchased it because...well, I got chicken. I hadn't ridden my road bike in awhile and so one day I got it out and went to a road on the outskirts of town and got on to get going. But I was suddenly terrified of all the traffic zipping by me without a shoulder to ride on. I packed up and headed back home. I found out that there were these things called "bike trails" that don't have car traffic. But many of them are crushed rock and best ridden on a slightly different bike than a road bike. So I got one. And it has done wonderful things for me.

Biking, like walking, and other repetitive physical activities can be deeply restorative and meditative. Anything to get the body moving and to get out of your head is wonderful. And so...before I think about this too much...I'm gonna go.

Possession #131 - Really Old Bike

This is my oldest bike which you can tell by the sticker on it that's on it from a city I haven't lived in for ... ummm...over 30 years. In college I got a 10-speed (do they even make bikes with that few of speeds anymore) which was my primary transportation. I loved tooling around the countryside on that one. Then when I left college and moved to the city, it was stolen...which necessitated this bike which has 12-speeds. Again, it saw a lot of usage and help me see a lot of countryside. I can't help but agree with this TED Talk guy who asserts that the world would be a better place if more people biked more. I'm trying to do my bit.

Possession #130 - Office books

OK...time for some more books. This time, books at my office. Taking a rough guess of all the books on the shelf, under the shelves and lying around, there are about....a gazillion books. Novels are great on my ipad or kindle, but these books I can't quite handle without having actual paper pages. These books are full of underlinings, marginalia, book marks and dog ears. At times, some of these books feel like friends. I like having them around me. Their words inspire, guide and remind me of what it is that I'm all about. Again, like so many other possessions, some of these books remind me of people, places, relationships and events. Read on!

Possession #129 - Dish Cleaning Stuff

OK...so I apologize for a bit of a gap here the last few days but I plead Vacation Bible School during which my camera burned white hot from over use. And now as I return to my stuff, I bring you something so mundane as the dish scrubbers by the sink (a toothbrush for cleaning the garlic press and one scrubber for everything else). Doesn't it seem, though, that these mundane objects often receive more care in their choosing because of how useful they're required to be. I once spent a week (and two failed attempts) to replace a broken kitchen scrubber. The dish sponges we use are the same brand we've been using for 25 years because their usefulness is something we don't dare lose. We may like how the dining table looks and the color of the bedroom wall, but what really counts is if the garage door opener works and the garbage can sticker is up to date. It is the mundane and I-assume-they-will-work things that make or break a day.

Here's to hoping that today your dishwasher runs without running all over the floor and that your shoelace ties without breaking.

Possession #128 - Bike

It seems as if I buy a new bike about once every 15 years which doesn't seem too bad for a form of exercise that I've always found fun and relaxing. It's probably a key to an exercise routine that it be something that brings some kind of joy, otherwise it becomes a drudgery and the justifying digressions become too frequent.

I put over a thousand miles on this bike last year. I went to a recumbent because my back was bothering me and I wanted a cushier ride for my tush. For the most part it's been wonderful. I like biking because, like jogging, it allows you to see the world at a slower pace...but not quite as slow as my turtle's jogging pace. Even on the hottest days, the bikes relative speed allows for a cooling breeze. Of course, too much breeze is sometimes an issue, but not if you avoid making speed goals for yourself.

Possession #127 - Washer and Dryer

Historians tell us that laundry was the household chore that nineteenth century housewives detested most. One woman of the time once described doing laundry as, "the Herculean task which women all dread." The task involved soaking the clothing in tubs of warm water overnight. Then, the next morning, scrubbing the laundry on a rough washboard and rubbing it with soap made from lye, which severely irritated the skin. Next, the laundry was put in big vats of boiling water and stirred with a long pole to prevent the clothes from developing yellow spots. Then the clothes were lifted out of the vats with a washstick, rinsed twice, once in plain water and once with bluing, then wrung out and hung out to dry. At this point, clothes would be pressed with heavy flatirons and collars would be stiffened with starch. Perhaps this is why men insisted on such strict gender roles. Who wouldn't comb the scriptures for some text to keep one's self from laundry responsibilities?

Which puts our relatively new front-loading washer and dryer in some sort of perspective I suppose. The only part of the task which I refuse to ever take part in is sorting the white load which takes some sort of extra sensory perception in order to discern whose underclothes are whose. As for ironing...that's a job in which everyone is strictly on their own on an as-needed basis. Thank you, modern technology.

Possession #126 - Fish Tank

One year in college, my roommate and I had fish. One was named "lucky" and the other "unlucky." I'll let you guess which one died first. When I got married, I thought it would be a great idea to have fish. There are many good reasons for having pet fish: 1)You don't have to take them for walks. 2)They don't eat much. 3)They're supposed to provide a calming atmosphere. Little did I know that keeping a fish tank clean is almost as bad as keeping track of cat hair and dog slobber. And I wasn't aware of the fact that cats eat fish. And the calming effect of fish only works in proportion to the amount of slime on the walls of the tank.

We tried fish a couple times in our tank and had them for a good while but finally switched to easier pets like dogs, cats and kids. Still...pets teach good lessons: 1)All living things are messy and don't always do what you want them to do. 2)Life is ultimately uncontrollable. 3)I had a third thing in mind but then my dog barked at the door and I lost my train of thought.

Possession #125 - Magic Tricks

Continuing on my way through my magic stuff, here's a smattering of tricks that I have stored away in the basement. Pictured, you see some classic effects (the linking rings and the cups and balls, a rising jumbo card trick). Also, you see a rather unique trick that I purchased in London when I was there with my parents and visited a rather famous magic shop (Ken Brooke's).

My father was a magician before me and I inherited a box full of tricks from him. Over the years I added, modified and created a few things of my own to the collection. Hundreds of birthday parties later, I had a pretty polished routine. 4-5 year olds were my favorite because at that age they easily fill with wonder and don't yet feel the need to be unimpressed with life. The only problem with younger folk is that they believe in all things magical and so don't act surprised when a magician does something magical. They're much more impressed when a toy duck squirts in my face or a metal ring gets stuck in my shoe laces.

I've linked to another magic youtube video. This one is of Barry and Stuart who do a very unique act.

Possession #124 - Red Bunny Box

As long as I'm on the topic of magic, here's my favorite trick...the Red Bunny Box. I customized the trick from a cheap cardboard box that I bought. It was my "go to" trick for kids. It had all the elements of greatness - kids catching the magician goofing up, rabbits, a little magic and audience participation.

So, this also gives me an excuse to foist upon you another youtube video of a magic act. This one was on an old Penn and Teller show in which magicians would try to fool them. The act is amazing and creative and fun...a triple threat. You gotta see it!

Possession #123 - Magic Table

This is my collapsible magic table from my "Grebnellow the Magician" days. It served me well through hundreds of 4 and 5 year old birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, and summer block parties. It's light weight and fairly sturdy having never needed reconstructive surgery except for the time I tried to incorporate a skateboard into my act and ended up tumbling into the street and slightly injuring my table and...ego.

Here are my three rules of a successful performance: 1)Always leave the audience wishing you'd stay longer rather than hoping you hadn't gone on so long. 2)Always squirt the audience with water at some point in the performance. 3)I used to have a third thing, but now I forget it. Oh wait a minute...this act that you don't want to miss, reminds me that entertainment and fun is usually more important than fooling everyone. You gotta see it!